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The Bearded Man recalls the first time he entered a club. For a guy who was used to lounging outside and growing his facial hair slowly and deliberately, being blasted by music in a loud, dark club was an entirely new experience. Instinctively, he walked up to a stack of speakers near the front of the house. He could feel the sound waves vibrating every single hair in his long beard in time with the music. The bass was so heavy, that he even thought it might blow his pants right off his legs. He didn't know it at the time, but he was listening to the sounds of Cloonee. Even though The Bearded Man invented house music several thousand years earlier, technology hadn't ever caught up to where the sounds could actually be amplified through speakers. The Bearded Man cried tears of joy at how spectacular the experience was, and he danced until 4AM. It was then and there that our hero realized he could never, EVER be separated from house music again.
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