The ancient philosophers knew quite a lot about the importance of "if". If this, then that. If A, then B. Back when beards were more fashionable, The Bearded Man used to argue all night with the likes of Marcus Aurelius, Epictetus, and even farther back, with Socrates in the Greek days of old. One of the key topics of discussion was always on the role logic and reasoning played in the world as we saw it. If something is a square, it's also a rectangle. But if something is a rectangle, is it also a square? Obviously not! These guys would argue the finer points of logical fallacies for DAYS. For DAYS. But you know what they didn't do back then? Ask cute girls to dance with them. To all the young aspiring bearded kids, remember: If you don't ask her out, you'll never make her love you.