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"Saddle up partner!" The town sheriff yelled at The Bearded Man. While it's true he is and was a world-class drinker, he's never been much of a horseback rider. Hell, he's never been much of a cowboy either. He politely declined the offer and poured himself another drink. Moments later, he found himself flying across the bar at remarkable speed, heading right towards a glass window. He crashed through that window, cutting up his beard pretty dern bad in the process. "FINE! I'll do it! Sheesh." He got on a horse that was apparently for him, and the sheriff said: "You do know how to use a gun don't you?" The Bearded Man said: "Are you kidding me? I just got off a cruise to the Caribbean with 40 of the sexiest human beings I've ever seen, and cruise ships haven't even been invented yet. Do I look like a gun nut?" The sheriff agreed that The Bearded Man looked more at home in the bar than on the horse, still, he gave him a hand and said: "I Need You." The two rode off into the sunset while this beat played, and they went on to conquer bad guys and stuff I guess.
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