A cruise is one of the most unnatural places to be on Earth. Sure, one advantage is that you don't have to pay for all you can eat and drink. But if you have The Bearded Man's appetite, such easy access to vices can hardly be counted a ?good? thing? It wasn't his idea to go, of course. Like so many of his more unusual adventures, he was roped in by a friend. With little space and too many bodies on board, it seemed like it would be misery in a can. Then they set sail. As land quickly shrank to nothingness, The Bearded Man felt the power of where he was. All around him were lonely souls, many of whom looking for love. Was he one of them? That night, he went to ship's nightclub - quite possibly the ugly heart of the beast. It was a strange sort of silent disco, and as he put the headphones on, the aptly named ?Cruise? came on from Clement Leroux. He locked eyes with a girl across the room, and thought to himself: ?Here we go again??